Faith in the unknown

Charting unknown territory is scary... That's what I'm doing right now. Don't know when, don't know how, don't know what. 2 modules resting on appeals. After last semester, God has given me an even more trying situation. It's stretching my faith... to it's limit. Yet faith is not in knowing the unknown, or knowing what God will do for me. Faith is in knowing who God is. All-knowing, All-powerful, All-present. Who is able to do abundantly and exceedingly. O my soul, have faith in these things that you know about God.

Discrete Maths for 1 pt!

Praise God!

I was out-bidded in this module(which is unusually popular this semester) for the past few rounds as some rounds even chalked this up til 1000+ pts. But God is good, and He was to give it to me at the last stage of round 2 for a whopping 1 point only!

I have 3 modules now and 2 more to go. Japanese studies and Japanese Language 2 (this i was outbidded this round). can trust God to give what He would want me to take.

Operation Japan

Thank God for prayer answered! I committed to be more regular in praying for Japan this year, and just as I was wondering and asking how to pray for Japan when I think I only know nuts about it, God answered my prayer and the desire of my heart through sister Charissa!

She gave me a gift that can only be from God! Operation Japan, a detailed prayer book covering a comprehensive list of prayer items for Japan all year round! Though the book was published in 1997, it's still the best material there is for detailed prayer for the country. So glad I can now pray more intelligently.

Yes, God opened another door! and I just marvel.

Thanks Uncle Sha

Uncle Sha, leaves at 5am tomorrow for his homeland. His testimony is wonderful. No one is too far from the reach of God's saving grace! Not even a muslim shiite in an extreme fundamentalist country. God has changed this man and I think he will become instrumental in bringing more souls to His kingdom. I look forward to seeing him again, meanwhile I'll keep him and family in prayer. I thank God for his testimony that was truly an encouragement.

Modules continue to be a "nagging dull pain at my neck" as I've still got 3 more to get.
I thank God for allowing me to get 2 modules already! He's able and in fact more then able. It is at times like these in the new year ahead that I believe this year's church theme verse will ring with ever greater comfort, awe and anticipation.

Jeremiah 33:3
"Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not "

Go to the Lord 1st in prayer. That what I learnt from the study of Jonah, when the sailors tried to unload their cargo to save them from the storm, it did not help. Neither did calling out ot their own gods. And not even desperate rowing. It was only when they called out to God to spare their lives and do what He wanted them to do(which was to throw Jonah off the ship) that the storm stopped. I used to be like them... 1st thing is to try to solve it on my own.. then look for friends to help.. then anybody... the last thing I do is pray.. when I realise that I cannot do it in my own strength... How wrong. God wants me to do all things His way and thru His resources. Phi4:6 "Be careful(anxious) for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."

So now I pray first before I do anything like appeal or bid.

He is indeed Jehovah Jireh, God my Provider.

And yes, He is in control.

SKS and dinner

went to SKS with Gwyneth yesterday. She got her Bible for her friend, while I actually picked up the last copy of "I kissed dating goodbye". Tho, i got tons of Bibles at home, this trip still got me further acquainted with the different versions and formats and pricing... but more importantly, got me fired up to study God's word even more.

Now, finishing up "I kiss dating goodbye", will soon start on 2 mentoring books.
Am also desiring to read some John Maxwell Leadership books.

Dinner with Gwyneth and Allvina was cool... Allvina leaves for Chiang Mai today. Makes me think of Gen12ii that will come in a twinkle of an eye. Time to sleep.. zzz...

A new year! Welcome 2006

It was a fascinating way to spend the new year with Allvina, Alex, Gwyneth and Jaime @ essential brew after watch night service.

Well, thank God for grace to still wake up early to be in church today and later for the prayer dedication at 5pm.

God's great as I recount my blessings over the year. It's felt like 3 years squeezed into 1. Got my license to drive, Church Camp, ORD!!!, led 2 souls to Christ!, kept an important promise, went into university, made tons of new friends, took Japanese, started Bible-study with Liz and Joy, finished 1st Sem in uni, SUnday School Camp, Combined Youth Leaders' Camp, Campus Crusade Metamorphosis and Gen12ii. And that's just a small portion of the highlights...

2006 holds greater challenges for me. With Junior Worship Service, Gen12ii and more Bible study. Looking forward... many more thanksgiving and praises to give to God!

2 Camps and 2 Dinners!

Been busy during the past week with camp b4 dinner b4 camp b4 dinner!

Combined Youth Leaders Camp was an incredible journey of studying God's word with a whole lot of new friends made. and the amazing thing about these friendships is that they are going to be eternal - for our destination is in heaven. I thank the Lord for the truths learnt, insights gained and the grace to apply it to my life. God causes calamities to punish people for evil. God has no pleasure in seeing the wicked destroyed but that all would turn from the evil ways and come into repentence. Man cannot run away from God. God can use even an unwilling heart in the worst of circumstances to accomplish His purposes. Thank God for Shalom, Zion Bishan, Nazareth, Moriah B-P Church. It was create to know them and to see each one's passion to study the word of God increase!

Had create time of fellowship over sushi (ichiban hoshi) with Allvina, Gwyneth, Alex, Joanne and Shelia. Later we had a good chat over some coffee and milk. Wonderful way to wrap up a camp.

Campus Crusade Metamorphosis Camp was another Spiritually refreshing camp. I was given one day to get to know all the people who have bonded over the course of the last few days as I couldn't make it for the pervious days. I really thank God and them that they were so warm in extending their love. Indeed, such is the example of the love that Christ has shown unto us in offering us salvation.

Camp speaker was Rich Miller, speaking on the last night about "Fear that paralyzes". Am glad that God brought me to be there that night. For it was there that He showed me what fears I am hiding behind that confident front and how my actions and thought-life was dictated by my fears. My fear came in terms of self-worth and image. How to be liked? How to be well-loved? How to be confident? Well, my self-worth is based on what God sees me as. Is it great to be liked and well-loved? Sure... Should we work at it? Why not? But I realise that when we work on it with our own strengths, it's way too tiring... My hearts desire is to love other more, deeply. But it is only possible to do that when my heart's focused on God's love and not my own.
Another thing I re-learnt is that God is in control, now that's head-knowledge. The challenge I had and have now is for that to be in the heart. That the heart knows that God is in control ALL the time. Period. Thank God for blessing me with these truths and enabling me to bless others too.

Great week, now time to go watch-night service.

"To God be the glory great things He have done!
So love He the world that He gave us His Son!"

Combined Youth Leaders' Camp

Met up with Allvina this evening. It's always great meeting up with this blessed sister, and I thank God that she has such a gift of encouragement.

Attended my 1st and last Combined Youth Leaders' Camp meeting. The people were all pretty friendly and I thank God for them all. My partner in counselling is this girl from Shalom BP, Hsiao Yun. I pray that God will enable us to be more prayerful, and to prepare the hearts of the campers. Jonah is a pretty good book to do precepts studies on and while doing day 4's study today, it has really spoken to me. A true heart of repentence, that turns away from sin. A God that hears my cries, if I do what is right, and looks upon me, and will deliver me. A God that hears me, if I will repent and turn away from my wickedness.

Hope I come prepared for this camp. Put in more prayer, put in more heart, and effort.

Gen12ii

I filled in that looong Gen12ii form online this evening.

I commit this "journey" into His hands. I know He can provide and will provide for all my needs.
Every cent and equiping that I'll need from Spiritual training to language. Already there is a small hurdle ahead of me.

Pray that God will make me prayerful.

Japanese Church Service

Attended the Singapore Japanese Fellowship service with Joy today at St George's Church.

It was combined service with the children and adults. The children very cute and they put up a nativity skit entitled「 ほんとうのうクリスマスプレゼント」- meaning "The Real Christmas Present".

I did not realise the translation earphones were at the seat behind and we ended up trying to decipher all that Japanese with our mediocre level of Japanese. Nonetheless, praise God that it is indeed heart-warming to hear God being worshipped and His word being preached in different tongues. The children sounded so cute I even recorded it down.

Jesus Christ - yi ya su ku ri si to (イヤス・クリスト）

Thank God for Joy, it has been a while since I've had a proper time of fellowship with a believer and she has been an encouragement to me. That God will for Himself raise up godly men and women to serve His kingdom, desiring with all their hearts that every detail of their walk be pleasing unto Him.

Memorised Rom6:4
"Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in the newness of life."

Newness of life

Sunday School Camp 2005 was a success by God's grace.

I've learnt much during this camp. Camp verses were Ephesians6:10-18 on the armour of God.

Yet, when I came home in the evening. I was struck by an overwhelming sense of a lack of love for God and a desire to have a truly intimate walk with Him. To say I'm a Christian who loves God is one thing, but to act out my love for God is another. How much time I spent in God's word, compared to TV, hobbies, internet chatting, etc.

King David in Psalms 119:97 "Oh how I love thy law! it is my meditation all the day." Can I say that for myself one day? I hope so.

Picked up my Bible and it was at Romans 6. "Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life." v5

God thought me that this verse is not only for new believers, but also for seasoned ones. Not yet yielded enough. If I wanted to be a man after God's own heart as King David was, I must start by loving God's laws as much as David did, that it was his meditation all the day. Seeking God and His testimonies and statutes above self-pride and righteousness. Today will start a difference in my life again. I will walk this newness of life.

1Pet 1:16 "Because it is written, Be ye holy ; for I am holy(Lev11:44)"

Accountability:
1) Cut TV
2) Read God's word more each day.

December Hols are here!

Exams are over and Sunday School Camp is coming up in 2 days time.
Have to entrust my results in God's hands.. some papers were just plainly difficult.

Pray that I'll be given the right mind and right heart to be in Sunday School Camp. As assistant camp master, I really desire to do what God would have me do in this camp. Whilst now, I'm just feeling a sense of emptiness and perhaps lostness. Many things to be done... Yet God is concerned about how I choose to do them each, and not that I simply get them done.

Is it not that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me"(Phil4:13)? Yes, it is. It's God who gives purpose, meaning and fulfillment to the works of my hand. And I will do my works to the best of my might(Ecc9:10).

Watched Saw II with friends today. Grostesque and horror films aren't my liking and this is particularly grostesque. If you watched it and did not find it particularly grosteque, then the world has succeeded in desensitizing you to violence and gore. The very instinct that makes us squirm, fidget and want to shut our eyes when we see violence, gore and other disturbing images flash before our eyes is what has been wired into us, helping us to differentiate what is good and what isn't. It's also a warning, indicating danger for us. Some people may find my opinions particularly extreme, but just look at the desensitized world out there. When 9/11 struck and the world had images of violence plastered all over their tv screens, how many had commented in curiousity "wow... this looks like a movie", before it even occured to feel pity and disgust? I know I was more curious then shock, and pity and disgust came much later then it should.

We ought to be good stewards for God with our minds and perspectives too. I hope that years later I'll still squirm at violence, bloodshed(and not see it as theatrics) and psychotic serial killers. On an added note, yes, I hope I'll be shy about sexual imagery thown about at me everyday and to mention even the word "sex". We seem to have traded our shyness for unfounded boldness and desensitized our minds to sex, as something that has found it's way to casual talk with every television drama and movie flashing a scene or two of suggested pre-marital sex(on this point saw 2 din have any, amazingly).

What to watch, listen, think and do then?

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
~Philippians 4:8

2 down!

Thank God! 2 papers down. Kissing programming and linear algebra good bye.

3 more to go. Japanese, COmputer Organisation and Digital Logic, Entrepreneurial Marketing.

But I feel... a sense of liberation already..

それから、日本語は勉強します！

Prying hard to see that glimmer of hope!

That describes my feelings right now. Not going to do a long entry.
Just want to say how much I can't wait for my exams to be over. Especially for the subjects of Computer Organisation, Linear Algebra and Programming Methodology.

Very typical of me to be thinking of play even before my exams are here.. haha... yeap, I'm thinking of how i wannna spend my time after exams already. Looking forward to sunday school camp, photography courses I signed up for and of course Christmas...!

On top of that I just bought a Nissan Skyline GT-R R34 (Tamiya) Kit on Monday... call it retail therapy.. haha ;)

Movie I wanna catch now would be Doom.. and soon Chronicles of Narnia and Chicken Little! (Invitations are open now.. )

God hears and God speaks. The Lord is at hand.

Am feeling troubled at heart. A few things have weighed me down yesterday. It started with a situation in my project group that has really gotten out of hand with something that a difficult charactor in the group has done directed at me. Also, I've got a math lab quiz later. Anything to do with Linear Algebra or Exams for that matter are giving me the jitters now. I feel unprepared. I did not know what to do, but to ask several people to pray for me. (Thank you for your prayers! I felt better and appreciate your concern.)

Praying myself, I began to ask God to answer my cries. I'm lost, troubled in spirit, heavy hearted, worried and afraid. But I don't seem to see God immediately working. Seems almost like He may not have heard my prayer. Then I remembered Phil4:7.

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

~Philippians 4:4-9 (New International Version)

I felt better realising that I could rejoice in the Lord always, coz He is in-charge, the head honcho around this town(called the Universe). And what an amazing verse 5, "The Lord is near(at hand says KJV)"! Yes, He is! He is like a life-guard, except better yet, a life-guard that swims with you. At hand to rescue me. So I made my prayer and petitions with thanksgiving to God and slept well.

Woke up this morning (unduely) worried again. How faithless I am. Yet, God proves faithful again whilst I'm not. Praise God for this mornings QT Psa34:11-22.

¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

¹² Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,

¹³ keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.

¹⁴ Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

¹⁵ The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;

¹⁶ the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.

¹⁸ The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;

²⁰ he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

²¹ Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

²² The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

¹⁷ The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. ¹⁸ The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. ¹⁹ A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;
Yes, God hears and He is attentive to my cries! Wonderful isn't it? Having God tell u that. Once again reminding me he is close and will deliver me from all my troubles.

I prayed for wisdom, and what was God's will. Now I know.

¹¹ Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
¹² Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
¹³ keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.
¹⁴ Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

I will deal with all things justly. Will not lie in ths situation, will not speak ungodly words, will not do evil but do good and seek peace! So that "my gentleness be evident to all.(because) The Lord is near." AMEN!

Trust in God.

Trust in the Lord with all thine hear and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

And old truth revisited in the past few weeks. Was physically tired and mentally overwhelmed by my work. The catch up game on school work and projects seemed endless[still is endless] and all these culminating to exams coming up in November. Perhaps, I was relying too much on my own strength to go through each day. It was about trying to get things done asap. It was so unconscious that i did not realise I wasn't trusting in God but my ownself to work things through.

But thank God for seeing me through. My work did not get less, but I did know who was in charge and I had peace to do my work. Now I'm able to blog, to testify that the Lord is good ;) and I'm beginning to get on top of work, or at least I'm not anxious about it anymore.

For as His ways are higher then mine and His thoughts higher then mine, so will I trust the Lord and not look to man for support nor strength. If you're down-trodden and feel like you've got heavy burdens that are weighing you down, making it hard to breathe, hard to carry on walking down, difficult to catch up, look to God who created all things and is in-charge of all[yes, even in whatever situation you're in].

For Jesus said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto you souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."(Matthew 11:28-30 KJV)

"I've tried it it really works!" sounds like a new slimming advertisement? haha... but really, it works!(with my life I can garantee that)

Now it's how to acknowledge him in all my ways...

The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace.~Psalms 29:11

I've forgotten

I've forgotten about penning down some of my thoughts in the past month or so.
It wasn't that nothing happened. In fact a lot of things happened and many to the glory of God.

Amidst struggling homework, programming labs, tutorials, quizes and all... I will gladly testify that the Lord was with me and saw me through! Admittedly, it was a struggle, that sometimes I lost, to do quiet time and pray but God is faithful still.

Friends around me seem stressed out by the work and the pace of uni life... Japanese language, programming labs, maths tutorials and many new concepts are also weighin me down.. but I thank God that He planted in me a fountain of life.. that I may have life more abundantly through Jesus ;) So yeap, I'm enjoying life in university, inspite of the work and the stress!!

So finally it's mid-term break. It's time to study for some tests and rest. So that's it.. from 1st week of school to last week of term.. time really flies..

Orientation and week 1.

Been awhile.. the 1st week of lecture timetables have started.

Freshmen orientation week was made fun entirely by the company ;) I thank God for putting me where I was and meeting all my orientation mates. It really is enjoyable to make new friends and suddenly, I'm dozens of friends richer :P Also getting to share the Gospel with 2 friends was a joy.

Rag Day

KBox


Throughout the fun, was the overwhelming CORs bidding rounds. What to bid, how much to bid, when to bid, and so much more... am thankful to God that I managed to obtain 5 modules.

WARNING: Long story ahead
I had wanted very much to take the japanese language module for a number of reasons. Interest, Career, and possibly mission work. It never dawned on me that I'll not be able to take the module until the bidding round 2A started. by the night the bid had went up to 192 points [I am only given 350 points to bid]. When I decided to place 200 points as a bid, I was told that new minimum was 201 and I could not place my bid!!!

the next day was an even greater drama with the whole CORs system becoming inaccesible due to crippling traffic. Bidding was to end at 3pm and at 2.50pm I still could not get in to place my bids. I had 2 modules to bid for. I placed 5 points on the other and was outbidded already. I realized, what was I worrying about? I cannot control the server from lagging. There was nothing that I could do, but my Heavenly Father could! Why am I not praying? And God works everytime in His very own prefect timing! Right after saying a quick prayer, I heard someone from across the lab announcing that CORs has just decided to extend the closing time to 5pm instead!! Praise God! I managed to get in and placed my 345 point bid for my japanese module then ;)

Did I get the module? I was told at 7+pm that night via e-mail that I did not - the minimum bid was a mere 350 points. I was really disappointed. Could it be that God did not want me taking that language? really, was that the 1st confirmation that my desire is not what God wants? Although I prayed that God not give me that module no matter what if He did not want me venturing in that area; the sense of disappointment was a little hard to shake off. That night I asked, "if not, show me another way..."

True enough after searching through what's left, I came across "Entrepreneurial Marketing". The only thing that spurred any interest in me and it was only 1 point! Wow you can't get any cheaper.. thanks to the odd timing of 6-9pm. Thank God for leading the way, because I did not have enough points to bid for most of the modules and the rest simply were dreary looking modules. btw, the minimum bid for Japanse in round 2B was 1280!!

I had not entirely given up on Japanese yet. There was a 67 slots for arts students that will be opened up to all if it wasn't filled up by round 3. and so, there was 67 slots in round 3. I really did not know what to expect. I did not think that I could successfully bid for this module given that it is particularly popular and thus it's track record is "expensive". Nonetheless, I felt that I should try at least. And if God did not want the "unbelieving me" to get it, I won't anyway and I'll just have to trust Him to provide for something better out of whatever modules are left. I decided that I'll put 300 points in this time.

Later that night I really did not know what to expect in my e-mail. Clicking and opening the mail from CORs, I was half-expecting to just admit that this module isn't for me to have. But God is wonderful! He is Jehovah Jireh, my Provider ;) I got the Japanese Module! and I did not just succesfully bidded for it, I got it at a mere 31 points! What a far cry from the minimum 350 points in round 2A!!

• Programming Methodology CS1101x
• Computer Organisation CS1104
• Linear Algebra I MA1101R
• Entrepreneurial Marketing TR2201 (breadth)
• Japanese Language LAJ1201 (breadth)

these modules did not come easy and they sure weren't what I had originally intended. I learnt and am able to testify once again that God's plan and time is the BEST! I can do all that is humanly possible, but it does not mean that I will obtain what I set out to achieve. God provided and He did not just provide, He provided it at the best time for me that I would not have wasted all my 350 points to get it in round 2A instead!

In His time... In His time... He makes all thing beautiful in His time...
Lord my life to You I bring, may each song I have to sing. Be to You a lovely thing, in Your time.

O Happy Day!

Attended Lizhen's Baptism at Jurong country club... Indeed, it's a happy day!
Congrats Lizhen! Welcome to a new start. May you run the good race in faith, and hear the Lord say "well done, good servant!" when u reach the finishing line.

Happy day! Happy day!
When Jesus washed my sins away!